Standing alone
gripping the metal piece
to my sobbing breast
precious it was
loathe was I to part with it
Once highly polished
varnish worn
exposing human manufacture
hope dashed
my idol would never
return all I’d invested
money
time
talent
health
Why would You ask for it?
why ask me to give it up?
it’s nothing, really–
You persist
Your hand extended
to receive
my arm extended
to give
Light exposes
its sad condition
object of misplaced adoration
edges worn
paint thin, chipped
lusterless
My heart lurches as You take it–
prying open my fingers
I release
forlorn
Your tear catches my eye
realization stabs
reality intrudes
I float up from waking sleep
heart hurting
You would shed a tear for me?
I reach to touch the wet on Your cheek
to feel the evidence of Your devotion
You pull me close
to let me hear Your heart–
to know life
with You
I see now
all You’ve done for me
a film playing silently
on the screen of heaven
my idol
never answered a single prayer
never extended one moment of comfort
never spoke one word of guidance
never provided one moment of protection
only lies
false hope
false security
it was You
Adonai
Y-H-V-H
Yud-Heh-Vah-Heh
Adonai Elohim
Adonai Yir’eh
Adonai Nissi
Adonai Shalom
Adonai Tsidkenu
It was only ever You.
MaryBeth Mullin
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