My earliest memories are of the cross-country course
nibbling the tender, green grass next to my mother
‘Til one day
I was shipped off
separated from all I knew and loved
to run mindless circuits round a dirt track
on a dry, dusty prairie
my legs stretching, muscles growing
but my mind always drifting to the greener grasses
rolling hills
majestic trees
open skies
a wide open path
space to run
With time, I matured, my muscles filled out
I accepted a daily life of repetition–my training
I ran every race with heart
I won more than I lost
I excelled beyond my own expectations
I outran competitors
I ran because it was in me to run
Before I knew it, I was “ready”
I heard my trainer say, “she’s moving up”
My heart leapt
could it be–the open course?
my thoughts filled with the images of my youth
carpets of endless green
the sweetness of the owner’s touch upon my forelock
carrots and apples from His hand
I had accepted the cruelty of my trainer
I did as he directed
I avoided his crop
but still he expressed shallow kindness
small mercies
The cruelty of his crop
his unyielding weight in the saddle
his careless flick of the reins
his cheap grains and marginal hay
I accepted as my lot
I kept my head down
I’d learned to fear
his hidden kicks
his punitive half measures of grain
He didn’t let anyone see
his cruelty, our secret
I rode in the trailer
blind to the road ahead
I rested, trusted
dreamed of my owner’s touch
lush, tender grass
open sky
More stunning than I remembered
the owner’s barns were a palace
huge stalls, wide corridors
fresh, well-bedded stalls
I was happy
But day after day
my trainer lumbered up onto my back
his body heaving and awkward
he led me to the starting gate
He let me start
I’d sprint from the line
my heart full of joy as I sprinted out
then he pulled back the reins
and turned me to do circles
more training
more blows from his crop
I was losing hope of ever running in the long race
the important race
the owner’s race
One morning, my trainer didn’t come
another brought my hay and an apple
He filled my bucket
with the coolest, sweetest water
He brushed me
and saddled me for a run
but not with my work saddle
with a new light-weight racing saddle
it barely registered on my back
He walked me out to the starting line
where many beautiful and fierce horses waited chomping at the bit
pawing the loose dirt
stamping their hooves impatiently
He positioned me in the far gate and left
I waited
nibbling tender blades of sweet grass at my feet
All the horses got strangely quiet
that’s when I saw Him
I couldn’t believe my eyes
dressed in the finest riding gear
Champion of all champions
My owner–handsome, strong, confident
He approached the line of horses
met with a chorus of whinnies
He knew each one–calling them by their names
names He’d given them
I was entranced
I didn’t register when he stopped beside me
He tightened my cinches and adjusted my saddle
I was so still–holding my breath
I couldn’t imagine Him being so close
touching me
He reached up and scratched my neck–just under the ear
I’ll never forget what He whispered,
“Are you ready to run?
“Are you ready to run for Me?
I lifted my head and whinnied with delight
“O Great Master, I shall run for You as none
has ever run before!”
It was a beautiful day,
a thrilling race
My legs stretched out before me
and all those years
heavy saddle, hefty jockey
served me well–making me strong
My Master is the sweetest rider
caring, considerate, yet firm
clear in His instructions
He had allowed my harsh training
to prepare me for this day
the day I would run for Him
under His command
only His words to instruct me
no crop
no bit
just the precious Words of my master
Run!
Run with endurance!
Run with joy!
Run because I made you to run!
Copyright MaryBeth Mullin 2023